Embryo of Philosophy

Fic: Worth Fighting For (Merlin, Gwen/Lancelot)

Wed, 30 Dec 2009 05:53:33 GMT

I have so much fic lying around that needs to be properly posted. Ack.

Title: Worth Fighting For
Fandom: Merlin
Pairing: Gwen/Lancelot
Word Count: ~510
Summary: Finally, Lancelot knows what he's fighting for
A/N: Written for the Merlin fic battle for the prompt "Gwen/Lancelot: girl worth fighting for." Spoilers for 2x04.

At first Lancelot had fought for ideals. Things like honor and justice, righteous causes. But the world has little time for such noble sentiments, and Lancelot learned that the hard way. What had started as such a virtuous quest had become little more than scraping by day to day. He sunk deeper and deeper until he was working for Hengist as nothing more than after dinner entertainment. He stopped thinking, stopped feeling. Life was nothing to him.

Then he saw her. In that filthy, miserable place, Guinevere had shown like pure sunlight. It was then that Lancelot had understood. He knew then why he had been brought so low, why he had dishonored himself and his dreams. It was all so he could be by his lady's side in her hour of need. It was for Guinevere's sake.

Lancelot had been the walking dead. Now he was alive again. And even in the heart of Hengist's despicable castle, the world had been beautiful. How could it be otherwise? The world was in Guinevere's smile, her eyes, the feel of her hand in his. He would fight and die to protect that world.

Even as she was thrust into that horrible cage, even as they waited for death, he felt no despair. He had given everything for her, and in return she had given him back his faith. It was more than would have ever dared ask for.

No, he felt no despair as he was about to die. It was only when he saw the look in Prince Arthur's eyes that the feeling curdled in his heart. Arthur loved her, the prince loved her. And why shouldn't he? Had Lancelot truly been so naïve as to think that he was the only one who saw Guinevere's light?

And Guinevere felt something for Arthur. They were barely burgeoning feelings, but they were there all the same.

She would make a magnificent queen. So wise, kind, and just; ruling nobly at the king's side. How could Lancelot dare keep her from that? What right did he have to destroy her future? She could have a prince or a penniless, dishonored pretend knight.

He had to leave. Leave without talking to her, even seeing her. Just one glimpse of her would destroy his resolve.

Coward, whispered a angry voice in the back of his mind. Lancelot forced himself to ignore it. He had to do this.

Guinevere would never be his, but he would always be hers. Hopefully, she would forget him, but everything he did would be in her name.

"I fight for Guinevere of Camelot," he said before he went to sleep and in the mornings when he awoke. "I fight for Guinevere of Camelot," he told the men he defeated who would prey upon the helpless.

Life was still harsh. Many nights he went cold and hungry, his clothes frayed, his boots wore through. He had nothing but Guinevere, but that was all right because she was all he needed.

"I fight for Guinevere of Camelot."

And that was all that mattered.

Whoo Yuletide!

Tue, 29 Dec 2009 21:13:31 GMT

This is a post all for plugging the beautiful Yuletide story that I received. by the beauty of physical objects is a Guenevere/Lancelot story set in T. H. White's The Once and Future King series.

I know that you're supposed to make sure that you'd be happy with any of your Yuletide requests, but I'll confess that I had an extra desire to have my The Once and Future King request filled. Guenevere and Lancelot have been one of my OTPs since I was eight or nine, when I saw Lerner and Lowe's "Camelot." However, I haven't been able to find nearly as much dedicated to them as I would like. And the The Once and Future King fandom is pretty much nonexistent.

The story itself is lovely, soft, and sad. You should go read it at once.

Fic repost: A Very Hargreaves Christmas

Thu, 24 Dec 2009 04:36:39 GMT

So, I realized that I never got around to reposting last year's Yuletide fics. Considering that this one is Christmas themed, now seems a good time.

Title: A Very Hargreaves Christmas
Fandom: Count Cain/Godchild
Characters/Pairing: Cain, Riff, Merryweather, Neil, Oscar; hints of Cain/Riff
Rating: PG
Summary: Welcome to Christmas at the Hargreaves mansion: presents, a tree, a turkey dinner, and... possible poisoned eggnog?

"I wonder what's in here." Merry sat next to the Christmas Tree, shaking a brightly wrapped box.

"Please be careful, Miss Merryweather," Riff admonished gently. "You wouldn't want to break whatever might be in there."

Merry frowned slightly, but she set the package down. "I hope that it's something good. Even Aunt Katina wouldn't get me something boring on Christmas, would she?"

"I'm afraid that I can't say," Riff responded. "Madam Katina does have a tendency towards the practical."

Merry sighed. "At least Cain will get me something nice." She folded her arms. "At least, he'd better, if he knows what's good for him." Riff covered his mouth with his hand to hide a smile.

"Are you saying horrible things about me, Merry?" Cain entered the room, smirking.

"Cain!" Merry rushed forward and embraced her brother. "I was just telling Riff about all of the wonderful presents that you're going to give me."

Cain looked confused. "Presents? Why would I give you presents? It isn't your birthday."

Merry stamped her foot. "Don't you dare pretend that you've forgotten Christmas. If you're not good, I won't give you your present."

Cain laughed. "We certainly can't have that. Merry Christmas, Merry. Well," he added, "merry Christmas Eve, anyway."

There was a knock at the door, causing Riff to turn his head. "That must be Master Neil," he remarked before exiting to greet their guest.

Cain looked at Merry. "Are you enjoying yourself?"

Merry nodded, eyes wide. "The tree is so big, and the ornaments are so pretty. And there are so many presents. But..." she trailed off.

"Merry?" Cain knelt down and looked at his sister. "What's wrong?"

Merry looked down. "I love you, Cain, and I love being here, but... I miss my mother. She always tried so hard to make Christmas good for me."

"Oh, Merry." Cain wrapped her in a powerful hug. He didn't know what to tell her. He couldn't imagine missing his parents the way that Merry missed her mother."

"I'm all right," Merry told him. "I have you and Riff, don't I?"

"You'll always have us," Cain promised her.

"Sir?" Cain pulled away from Merry and stood up when he heard Riff's voice.

Cain's Uncle Neil entered the room. "Hello, Cain, Merry."

Merry curtsied. "Hello, Uncle Neil."

"Glad to see that you made it in one piece," Cain said brightly, ignoring the chastising look that his uncle gave him. "From the smell coming from the kitchen, I'd say that you're just in time for dinner." Cain lead the way to the dining room, while Riff went to fetch the turkey. Neil, Merry, and Cain had just sat down, when they heard someone knocking at the door. "Who could that be?" Cain wondered.

Riff bowed. "Pardon me, I will go find out who it is."

Merry, Cain, and Neil waited in silent curiosity, which grew until they heard heavy footsteps and Riff's voice calling out, "Master Oscar, please wait!"

Sure enough, Oscar burst into the room, a wide grin on his face. "Hello, everyone!"

Merry stared at him. "Oscar? What are you doing here?"

Cain glared. "He's leaving, that's what he's doing."

"Wait, wait!" Oscar waved his hands in front of him. "I brought presents!"

"Presents?" Merry turned to Cain. "He can stay for a little while, can't he?"

Cain sighed. "Riff, set a place for Oscar." Riff nodded and left.

"Cain?" Neil finally spoke. "Is this a friend of yours?"

Oscar gave a hearty "Yes!" just as Cain snapped "No!" Oscar held out his hand, and Neil rose and shook it with only some reservation. "Oscar Gabriel, sir. Very pleased to make your acquaintance."

"Neil Hargreaves. I'm Cain and Merry's uncle."

Oscar shook Neil's hand with even greater gusto. "Wonderful! And may I say, sir, that once Merry and I are married, it will be an honor to be a member of the family."

Neil paused as Oscar's words sank in. "I'm sure that you'll fit right in," he replied neutrally.

"You are not going to marry my sister," Cain growled.

Oscar winked at Neil. "I still have to win over my future brother-in-law." Whatever Cain might have said in response was cut off as Riff entered and set Oscar's place. Oscar sat down cheerfully. "I'm starving."

"We were about to eat," Merry informed him primly, "but you interrupted."

Oscar laughed. "Then don't let me keep you any longer."

Grumbling very softly, Cain began to carve the turkey, while Riff poured wine. He filled Oscar, Neil, and Cain's glasses, then set the bottle down.

"Riff," Merry spoke up, "you forgot me."

Riff picked up a different bottle. "How about some non-alcoholic apple cider?"

Merry looked plaintively at her brother. "Can't I have wine?"

"No," Cain answered firmly. Merry huffed and sipped her cider.

"Cheer up, Merry," Oscar said. "Maybe after dinner, your brother will let you have some eggnog."

Cain shook his head. "Oh, there's no eggnog this year." Seeing Oscar's puzzled look, he explained. "The strong taste is perfect for masking poison. Haven't you seen the papers?" Oscar shook his head. "Three members of the Gallagher family are dead due to poisoned eggnog."

"Cain," Neil reprimanded, "I hardly think that this is appropriate conversation for Christmas Eve dinner."

"No, Cain, you can't stop there," Merry insisted. "You have to tell us more."

Giving his uncle a "What can you do?" look, Cain continued. "They haven't found the culprit yet. In fact, no one is even certain whether or not the dead were the intended victims." He shook his head. "The police are so hopeless." His expression turned thoughtful. "The Gallaghers are friends with an acquaintance of mine. Perhaps I shall have myself introduced to them in the next few days and see if I can't solve this mystery."

Neil frowned. "It hardly seems appropriate to intrude upon their grief for the sake of your personal curiosity."

"Can we be so sure that all of them are grieving? The culprit might very well be among them. And don't you think that bringing resolution and justice to this terrible tragedy would make for a fine Christmas present for the Gallaghers who are heartbroken?" Cain smiled. "Besides, I think it would be fun."

"Can I come?" Merry asked excitedly.

"No, Merry."

Merry pouted. She pointed at Riff. "You'll take Riff!"

Riff smiled gently at her. "I need to be there to keep your brother from getting into too much trouble."

"Don't worry, Merry," Oscar assured her. "I'll come over to keep you company. I'll make sure that you aren't lonely."

"You most certainly will not," Cain argued sharply.

A glint of mischief appeared in Merry's eyes. "I might allow that." She ignored the Oscar's joyful expression and met Cain's eyes. "Either you take me with you, or I'll invite Oscar over."

Cain was silent for quite a while. "All right," he said finally. "I'll let you and Oscar work out the details between yourselves, and I'll tell the day before I plan to go investigate."

"What!?" Merry's eyes went as big as saucers.

"Cain!" Oscar shouted jubilantly. "At last you've accepted me as your brother!" There was no doubt that he would have enveloped Cain in a bear hug if the table hadn't been separating them.

"I have not! You're simply the lesser of two evils."

Oscar turned to Neil, who was looking more than a little bewildered by the whole exchange. "See, I'm making progress."

Riff came over to Cain. "More wine, sir?" he said softly.

Cain held out his glass. "Please." His voice was heavy with exasperation.

The rest of the meal passed in relative peace. Merry happily chattered about what her tutors were teaching her (leaving out how she tended to behave around those tutors), and everyone else was quite willing to listen. Eventually Cain pushed his plate away and asked if anyone wanted more food. Everyone answered in the negative, and Cain nodded.

"Shall I bring coffee, sir?"

"In the drawing room, thank you, Riff. Well, Oscar it was lovely of you to come." Cain's voice was slightly stiff. "We'll see you later, I'm sure." His expression clearly said "No matter how much I may wish otherwise."

Oscar clasped his hand to his chest, looking terribly hurt. "I can't leave yet! You haven't opened my presents!"

"We'll open them tomorrow," Cain responded.

Oscar smiled slyly. "Does that mean I should come back tomorrow?"

A look of horror very briefly passed over Cain's face. "Fine, you can stay."

The group adjourned to the drawing room, where Riff and coffee were waiting for them. They hadn't been there very long, however, when Merry set down her cup. "Can't we open some presents, Cain? I'm bored."

Cain wanted to tell her to wait, but felt his will crumble under her entreating gaze. "If no one else objects."

Oscar declared that whatever his darling Merry wanted was fine with him. Neil chuckled. "Well, one is only a child once."

So, they all moved once again, this time settling under the giant Christmas tree. Merry picked up an unfamiliar package. "Is this one from you, Oscar?"

He nodded. "That one's for you. Go ahead, open it."

Merry tore off the wrapping paper to find a jewelry box. She opened it and gasped when she saw the glittering diamond pendant. "Oscar... it's beautiful."

"You like it, then?" Merry looked up in surprise. Was that relief in his voice? Was he nervous? "It's my mother's. At least, it was." He smiled. "I may be disowned, but I'm still her favorite. And I told her that I needed a very special present for a very special lady. Think of it as an early engagement present."

Cain snatched the box away. "Merry doesn't need engagement presents from you."

"Cain!" Merry exclaimed. "Give it back!"

Cain stopped and stared at her in surprise. "You actually want it?"

Merry looked down, feeling a little embarrassed. "It's very pretty, even if it is from stupid Oscar." Reluctantly, Cain handed the box back to her, sharing a concerned glance with Neil.

Oscar didn't seem to notice. He handed Cain a gift. "This one is for you." Cain opened the package and found a pair of fine cuff links. "It's a little boring," Oscar admitted sheepishly, "but you're a hard man to shop for! I couldn't think of any place that sold rare, exotic poisons."

"Thank you, Oscar," Cain said genuinely.

Oscar looked at Riff, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. "I, uh, didn't get you anything. If Cain is hard to shop for, then you're impossible!"

Riff smiled warmly. "I appreciate the thought, sir, but I assure you that I have everything I could ever need right here."

"Don't say that," Cain interjected wryly. "You need to be able to graciously accept your present from me."

"Sir, I really don't need--"

"You need new suits," Cain interrupted. "Next week we'll go to that boutique on Briar Street and have you fitted."

"Master Cain, I tell you every year that the clothes that I have are perfectly agreeable. I don't need anything new or fancy."

"And every year I disagree with you," Cain replied. "You accompany me, Riff. If you don't look your best, it reflects badly on me. Do you wish to cause me embarrassment?"

Riff sighed, defeated. "Very well, sir. But now that you've told me about my present, I feel that I should give you yours."

Cain furrowed his brow. "Riff, I don't give you that so salary so that you can spend it on me. You shouldn't buy me things. I tell you that every year."

There was a touch of humor in Riff's smile. "And every year I disagree with you, sir." He handed Cain a gift, which Cain unwrapped.

"A book on the Borgia family! I don't have this one."

"I know. It was just translated from Italian."

"Thank you, Riff." Cain reached out and covered Riff's hand with his own, tracing little circles on Riff's palm with his thumb. Riff responded by curling his fingers around Cain's hand. Merry smiled at them. Neil averted his eyes and struck up a conversation with Oscar.

I could stay forever like this, Cain thought. Surrounded by these people, with Riff holding my hand.

"Should we open presents from Uncle Neil?" Merry's voice broke the moment, and Cain and Riff pulled away from each other.

Neil laughed slightly. "I don't think so. You need to save something for tomorrow. Besides, it's getting late. An old man like me needs to get to bed."

Cain walked over to his uncle. "I'm glad that you were able to come."

Neil stood still for a moment, unsure. Then he embraced Cain. "I was happy to be here." He ruffled Merry's hair affectionately. "Be a good girl, all right? Don't cause your brother any more trouble than he causes you." She nodded, smiling up at him.

"Please see Uncle Neil and Oscar out," Cain asked Riff.

Oscar laughed. "Looks like I've used up my welcome. Goodbye Merry, I'll see you soon."

Oscar and Neil allowed Riff to lead them to the front door. Oscar left with a happy wave, but Neil halted. "It was good to see you, Riff."

"And you, sir."

Neil looked Riff in the eyes. "Please take care of him for another year."

Riff nodded fiercely. "You can count on me, sir."

"I know." And with that, Neil walked out the door, leaving Riff with a satisfied look on his face. The he heard Merry call for him, and he hurried back. "What is it, Miss Merryweather?"

"Cain says that I have to go to bed. But I'll only go if I get to ride on your shoulders."

Riff scooped her. "Very well, if that's the only way to get you into bed." They smiled at each other and Merry cheered as Riff took her upstairs. Once she was tucked in, he went back into the kitchen to make sure that everything had been properly cleaned up. He found Cain waiting for him there.

"There's plenty of turkey left." Cain handed Riff a plate. "You should eat."

"Ah, thank you, sir." Riff sat down at the tiny kitchen table, and Cain sat across from him. "Can I get you anything?"

"You can eat," Cain ordered.

Riff took a bite of the turkey. It was very good, and he was very hungry. "And after I've finished eating?"

"We'll go upstairs, and you'll undress me." Cain waited for a few seconds before continuing. "I'm very tired, after all, and I wish to go to bed."

Riff coughed lightly. "Of course, sir."

"It was a nice night, wasn't it, Riff?"

Riff reached and took Cain's hand. "A very nice night indeed."

They finished Christmas Eve dinner in companionable silence.

Oh, fuck me

Thu, 17 Dec 2009 18:50:25 GMT

I have to go bang my head against a wall. It turns out that the big final paper I thought was due tomorrow? Might very well have been due yesterday.

This is just proof that I shouldn't relax or feel good. Something goes wrong every time I do.

ARGH!

EDIT: Never mind, false alarm! It's due when I thought it was after all!

In lighter news

Tue, 15 Dec 2009 20:43:03 GMT

It looks like the great lj gender fail has been averted. People have been getting responses that essentially say "Oops! We didn't mean to do that!" The wording is pretty good, though I'm not sure if I buy the "it was an accident" excuse. That probably has more to do with past lj fails though. But all's well that ends well, I suppose.

In other news I've had a stocking set up at fandom_stocking for a while, but I haven't had a chance to mention it. It's here. More important, however, is that they're still accepting sign ups, as far as I can tell. So sign up, and if I have time (which is, admittedly not terribly likely) I can write you a present!

Finally, it's about time I started taking prompts from people who filled out my survey a little while ago. That's:

anarchicq
skinship
kurenai_tenka
amethyst_hunter
bitterfig
000_hester_000
p_zeitgeist

Also, alder_knight and rocknlobster who offered though I didn't up using them.

tekararogue and bravest_unsaid also volunteered but aren't in fandom. Is there something you folks would like? I could do a D&D drabble for you, tekararogue. bravest_unsaid, um, a politcal rant tailored to your interests? A small donation in your name to the charity of your choice? You tell me.

Fandoms I'm offering are:

Saiyuki
Merlin
Get Backers
Utena
YnM
Count Cain/Godchild

If you aren't interested in any of those, then you can ask about a different fandom and I'll see what I can do.

This turned out more complicated than I was expecting.

BRB must kill

Tue, 15 Dec 2009 04:38:37 GMT

So, lj is going to start requiring gender identification with new account creations, and they are removing the 'unspecified' option.

More info here.

Fuck this shit. I was always so happy that lj didn't try to force me to fit into the binary. But they want more ad revenue, so it's perfectly fine to fuck over the trans community.

I've left polite feedback protesting the change, and I ask that you do the same. This sort of thing may seem small, but it's extremely important to me and other trans people.

Thanks to heather11483 for the heads up.

I have eight Dreamwidth codes if anyone wants one.

Fic: Indecent Behavior (YnM, Muraki/Oriya)

Thu, 03 Dec 2009 02:51:28 GMT

Forget serious political posts! Who cares about papers due tomorrow? What's truly important is silly fanfic.

Title: Indecent Behavior
Pairing: Oriya/Muraki
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Oriya tries to get ready for an incredibly important business meeting, and Muraki is completely unhelpful.
A/N: Written for comment_fic, for the prompt: Muraki, he could, in fact, commit sexual harassment simply by sitting very quietly in the next room. It's been far too long since I last wrote YnM fic. I had forgotten how much fun Muraki is to write.

Putting on a fresh kimono, Oriya inspected it for stains or creases. He knew that the maids would never allow such a thing to happen, but he couldn't be too careful. He had an incredibly important business meeting in half an hour, and nothing could wrong. Which meant the kimono he had on earlier wouldn't do.

All things considered, it had probably been a bad idea to have sex just before his incredibly important business meeting, but no one could ever accuse Oriya of good judgment. If Oriya had any good judgment then he would never allow the man propped up on the floor into his home.

"Stop looking at me like that," Oriya snapped, glaring at Muraki.

"Like what?" Muraki asked, amused.

"Stop that leering!" It wasn't really a fair thing to say. The look on Muraki's face would be more accurately described as smirking. The problem with Muraki was that all of his expressions looked like leering.

Muraki's smile grew even more smug. "You weren't objecting five minutes ago."

Oriya scowled but didn't reply. Kicking his damp, discarded kimono away from him, he tried to concentrate on putting on the clean one. A simple task. Surely a grown man could dress himself with no problems. And that was surely true, unless that grown man happened to be in a room with a naked, grinning Muraki. Which Oriya was.

Dammit.

Oriya turned around. If he couldn't see Muraki, then the problem would be solved. Excellent plan.

Except he could still feel Muraki's eyes on him, following Oriya's every move, picturing him with his clothes off...

Oriya whirled around. "Dammit, Muraki!"

"Oriya, what is the problem?" Muraki did his best to make his expression suitably innocent. It didn't work.

Oriya rubbed his temple. "Just... go in the next room." That had to work. A sturdy wall between Oriya and Muraki's highly inappropriate expressions would do the trick.

Oriya half expected Muraki to refuse simply for the sake of being a bastard (because that was what Muraki did), but apparently the sex had made him more amiable than usual because he got up, opened the door, and walked out. Which was when Oriya noticed the problem.

"Get back here, you bastard!"

Muraki poked his head in. "I wish you would make up your mind. First you want me to leave, now you want me to come back."

"Put some clothes on," Oriya gritted out.

"You should have specified that," Muraki said, looking terribly pleased with himself.

"I hate you," Oriya told him, glowering.

"You love me."

"Only because I'm an idiot."

"Indeed." Muraki put his clothes on slowly, looking intently at Oriya the whole time. Oriya did his best to ignore his burgeoning erection. That was exactly the response Muraki wanted, and Oriya was not going to give the bastard the satisfaction. He refused to look at Muraki as the man left. Once Muraki was out the door, Oriya let out a sigh of relief. Now there would be now more distractions. He went to find an appropriate obi.

Muraki was probably looking like the cat who ate the canary, Oriya thought. Lounging in the otherwise empty room looking sexy, his clothes rumpled and loose.

Oriya shook his head, chasing the images out of his mind. He had prepare for his incredibly important business meeting. Now was no time to think of Muraki's skin, still smelling of sex and slightly glistening with sweat. Or his hair, slightly mussed and covering hungry, lustful eyes.

Fuck.

Oriya stomped into the other room. Muraki looked at him and smiled lazily. "What have I done this time?" he drawled.

Oriya kissed him fiercely. He had an incredibly important business meeting in twenty-five minutes, but that left enough enough time for a quick handjob.

He gasped when Muraki pushed him onto his back. "I won't let you go quickly," Muraki murmured, nibbling on Oriya's ear. "I'm going to make this last a long time."

"I'm going to miss my meeting," Oriya said, panting.

"I know."

Damn bastard. Oriya was definitely going to throw him out.

Right after they finished having sex.

Article post time

Wed, 02 Dec 2009 23:46:36 GMT

First two articles are about prostitution. Prostitution is a very thorny feminist issue. There are people arguing in good faith on both sides. What's more, there's no one prostitution experience. Some woman are trapped by pimps, addictions, or poverty, and forced to do something they find humiliating and degrading. Other women find prostitution to be a job that's lucrative and enjoyable. There's no one right answer.

But I am for decriminalization, because of situations like these.

Sex workers arrested because they carry condoms: New York law

How do you know someone is selling sex? It’s an old problem. In New York, police can detain you as a prostitute just because they find you carrying ‘too many’ condoms. This is an old technique used by police officers looking for an easy way to fulfill arrest quotas and keep their jobs. Here are main points posted by Katherine Franke on her Gender and Sexuality Law Blog on 20 November 2009.

* Under current law, police and prosecutors can and do use condoms to prove prostitution and related offenses, such as patronizing a prostitute, promoting prostitution, and maintaining a premises for prostitution.
* A proposed bill in committee in the Senate and on the floor of the Assembly would prohibit the use of those and other condoms in seven enumerated prostitution-related crimes.
* New York’s police and prosecutors should not be permitted to introduce condoms as evidence of prostitution and prostitution-related offenses, according to the students who work in Columbia’s Sexuality and Gender Law Clinic.
* The bill is important for protecting public health in New York and deterring police officers from using condoms as pretextual justification for arbitrary search and seizure. Criminalization of condom possession directly conflicts with New York’s longstanding public policy of encouraging condom use.

The Sex Workers Project (SWP) at the Urban Justice Center and the Center for Constitutional Rights have written legislative memos supporting the bill. There is an online petition to gather signatures to legislators.

Whole story at Sexuality and Gender Law Clinic Supports “No-Condoms-as-Evidence-of–Prostitution” Bill.

Carrying "too many" condoms can get you arrested? I can't think of a better way to discourage safer sex.

What does the ban on indoor prostitution mean for RI

As you probably already know, the loophole for legalized indoor prostitution was closed last Tuesday when Governor Carcieri signed the bill brought to him by the General Assembly. Amy Kempe, a spokesperson for the governor, says the ban was necessary because it reflected poorly on the state.

Kempe: “Rhode Island was the only state, outside of a few counties in Nevada that had legalized prostitution. and that is a black mark on the state of Rhode Island’s reputation.”

Lieutenant Mike Correias of the Providence Narcotics and Licensing unit, says the police supported the ban because they suspected that the prostitution could be linked to other problems.

Correias: “It’s fair to say that there is some kind of organized crime behind it, whether its Asian organized crime centered in NYC. There’s a tremendous amount of money being made.”

While it was clear that the legal status of indoor prostitution was an unintentional loophole for the past several years, what is less clear is the impact that the ban has had on those whose livelihoods depended it. Are all indoor prostitutes victims of sex trafficking and abuse? Stephanie, a pseudonym, is a twenty five year old mother who runs her own service.

Stephanie: “I’m a single mother, at one point I didn’t have money to feed my kids or myself, so that’s when I got into the business and that’s how i’ve been supporting myself and my kids.”

But since the ban was signed into law, she’s stopped, and she’s left with very few options, especially in this economy.

Stephanie: “Now that the law’s been passed, i’ve stopped but I also have no money and I’m not sure of what to do now. I’m looking for a job, but it’s kinda impossible. R unning out of food, so it’s a sucky situation.”

When asked about people in this situation, Amy Kempe insists that people like Stephanie have other options.

Kempe: “There are a number of resources available to assist individuals during economic recession. Be it food stamps, be it public assistance, be it job training programs.”

Kempe went on to mention specific training programs in healthcare, customer service, and biotechnology. But the single mother of a two and seven year old says the quality of life for her family is dramatically worse when she relies on government services.

Stephanie: “I struggled on a daily basis. I barely had enough to pay the bills and the rent. Then when I started in the business, my kids never went hungry another day. I mean, we went from living on peanut butter sandwiches and noodles to having nice normal meals – breakfast, lunch, and dinner – and being able take my kids and just live a good life. Now I’m not really sure what I’m going to do.”

And she says she’s not the only one in this situation.

Stephanie: “Almost every girl I know that has ever been in the business has children and this is how they support, you know, their lifestyle. And a lot of the girls I know go to school – so the way it’s affecting me, it’s going to affect them. Basically paying the rent and making sure the kids are fed. It’s gonna be hard.”

Whether or not the ban on prostitution will be good or bad for the state and its residents, what about the issue of enforcement? Lieutenant Correias had this to say.

Correias: “It’s not legal any more to go into someone’s home or their home or a hotel room and engage in prostitution. It’s not legal anymore. So they should be prepared that if they’re going to continue that they may get arrested.”

But he added that he doesn’t see this new law as the most important issue on the agenda of his Narcotics and Organized Crime unit.

Correias: “It’ll be our responsibility to enforce it, but no we’re not getting any more manpower or working more hours. If we were to have any reason to believe that there’s human trafficking involved certainly we’ll move it up the priority scale, but the reduction of violent crime and gun violence specifically will always be our number one priority.”

And so while the Governor’s office is totally intolerant of prostitutes like Stephanie,

Kempe: “It doesn’t matter if the state is in an economic downturn or not, prostitution is illegal. It destroys the fabrics of our community.”

the de facto reality of the situation is summed up by Lieutenant Correias,

Correias: “I’m you’re looking at — this crime, it’s a misdemeanor. I mean you’re not going to see a lot of people going to jail for prostitution. We’ll never rid the city of prostitution.”

With that knowledge in hand, one can’t help but wonder the same thing as our single mother of two -

Stephanie: “I just didn’t see how it was necessary because I didn’t see how it was harming anyone. I thought there were bigger issues that needed to be tackled in the state like the unemployment rate and the crime. But I guess this was something they thought was necessary.”

For WBRU News, I’m Johnny Lin.

Maybe prostitution "destroys the fabrics of our community" and maybe it doesn't. But I'm left wondering if it destroys communities more than children going hungry does.

Given the Stupak Amendment, I should really make an abortion rights post. But I have a horrible confession to make: I'm largely uneducated about the Stupack Amendment. The whole thing just makes me so furious and sick. I can only deal with so much miserable, sexist shit at one time. But it needs to be done. Blargh.

Tell me I'm pretty

Wed, 02 Dec 2009 04:07:00 GMT

Papers to write, mom telling me off for sucking, and I fucked up so totally that we had to cancel an event for WAGON, a student group that I'm part of. I am feeling like a small, wibbly puddle of sadness.

Which is why I bring you this:

THE FANFICTION LOVE MEME

Normally, I don't do things like this. If other people do them, that's perfectly reasonable. If I do them, then I'm arrogant and attention seeking. But I'm a sad little puddle right now, and I want people to tell me nice things.

Entry title from Firefly:

Kaylee: Everyone's got somebody. Wash, tell me I'm pretty.
Wash: Were I unwed, I would take you in a manly fashion.
Kaylee: Cause I'm pretty?
Wash: Cause you're pretty

Fic: Tears In the Rain (Merlin, Gwen/Lancelot)

Sat, 28 Nov 2009 23:32:16 GMT

Title: Tears In the Rain
Fandom: Merlin
Pairing: Gwen/Lancelot
Rating: PG
Length: ~565
A/N: Written for comment_fic for the prompt "Nobody deserves your tears, but whoever deserves them will not make you cry (Gabriel Garcia Marquez)".

Gwen's mother had been a practical woman. "Crying never did anyone any good," she would say briskly as she dried Gwen's tears. Now Gwen notes that while her mother was right, at least crying doesn't hurt anyone either.

Gwen stands on the balcony outside her room, staring into the horizon as the rain pours down. Many miles away a war is coming to an end. A stupid war, a pointless war. A war that Arthur tried so hard to prevent. But King Ulric was determined to fight, and Arthur had no choice but to retaliate if he didn't wish to see his people slaughtered. How many have suffered for one man's selfish wish? How many are still suffering?

"My queen?" Lancelot's steps are soft and steady behind her. "My queen, you're soaked."

Gwen turns. "Hello, Sir Lancelot. Are you well?"

"Um, yes." Lancelot frowns. "Your majesty, you should come inside. You'll catch cold."

"It wasn't a very long war, was it?" Gwen asks.

Confused, Lancelot answers her. "No. King Ulric's forces were not as well trained nor as well led. He expected to overwhelm us with sheer numbers, but he had no head for strategy or tactics."

"And yet so many died, and so many more are grieving."

"That's the way with war," Lancelot says softly. "But the peace treaty will soon be signed and your lord husband will be home, so you should take cheer." He's trying to sound jovial but instead sounds slightly choked. Gwen almost laughs. Honest men should not have forbidden loves.

"You'll be happy to see my husband as well, won't you, Sir Lancelot?"

"I will be very happy to see him safe and unharmed." Now he's genuine. Lancelot is probably the only man in Albion who honestly worries for the safety of his rival in love.

Arthur will be weary when he returns. He will take no pleasure in this easy victory, not when it meant so much pointless death. Once Arthur is back, Lancelot will be more guarded. With Arthur will be Merlin, who will look at Gwen as he knows her heart better than she does herself.

Gwen thinks of Arthur's weary, haunted smile, Lancelot's distance, and Merlin's suspicion. She thinks of men dead and rotting on the battlefield, women grieving, and children abandoned. She turns the images around in her head until it's all too much.

"Don't cry, Guinevere." Lancelot puts his hand on her shoulder.

"It's only the rain." Gwen's voice is barely above a whisper. She leans against Lancelot, laying her head on his shoulder. He makes to move away, but she stops him. "No one will see us in this weather." Lancelot flinches. He doesn't want people to see, but he hates being reminded that they're doing anything people shouldn't see.

It tears him apart, the secrecy and the guilt. But as long as Gwen wants him, he will come to her. And Arthur will look away, taking care not to see anything that might condemn his queen or his knight. Merlin will silence himself for Arthur's sake.

It can't last forever. The balance is too delicate. Soon they will all be as lost as tears in the rain.

Lancelot kisses her gently, wiping the water from her face. Gwen thinks of King Ulric and the men who died for his stubbornness.

How many will suffer for this selfish wish of hers?

Vital information for your everyday life

Tue, 24 Nov 2009 18:19:38 GMT

1) School is making me crazy and my life is a bloody mess. I am on the brink, man. Ack.

2) My tea tastes soapy. Next time, I'll rinse the cup more thoroughly.

3) Highlights from working at Blockbuster: The woman who came up to me and asked if we had "The first movie in that vampire series that's out." Yeah, that really narrows it down. On a hunch, I asked if she meant Twilight. "Maybe." But she seemed happy when I pointed her to our Twilight display, so all's well that ends well. The there was the women who asked me if The Curious Case of Benjamin Button was based on a true story. Amused, I explained that Benjamin Button was about a man who was born incredibly old and aged backwards, so no. She then turned to her husband and asked if that could really happen. So yeah.

4) I have to go to the dentist so she can replace a crown that fell out. It's very odd to be going about your business when all of the sudden one of your teeth falls out.

5) Um, yeah.

Halp!

Sat, 21 Nov 2009 06:53:24 GMT

Okay, so life has been one fuck up after another lately, but you don't need to to know the details right now. Except for one. See, I had to do a survey project for my research methods class. I created a survey, and found people to take it. I had to get twenty filled out. Which is easier said that done, since I'm not sure I even know twenty people, at least not that well.

So, I had one of my classes fill it out (after asking the professor, of course). Only problem is that since this was the last class before fall break, many people were missing. So, I just counted, and I got sixteen. The paper is due tomorrow.

If you are willing to take a survey on verbal sexual harassment, please leave your email (comments will be screened), take the survey, and get it back to me by sometime tomorrow.

What do you get in return? 1) a warm fuzzy feeling from helping me out, and, more importantly, 2) I'll write you a drabble.

And now, commence panicking.

Yuletide Letter

Sat, 14 Nov 2009 05:26:56 GMT

Dear Yuletide Writer,

First of all, thank you, thank you, thank you. You are wonderful just for signing up.

Everything here is just a suggestion. Take what you want, or nothing at all, and leave the rest.

What do I like? I like romance, action, angst in moderation, humor, and stuff that doesn't quite fit into any one category. I like platonic love and romantic love. I read gen, slash, femslash, and het with equal fervor. I love fluff, but I also love explorations of complicated relationships. I love stories with explicit sex, stories with no sex, and everything in between. I also love BDSM sex, but don't worry too much about that. I adore happy endings.

What don't I like? I'm not a big fan of character death and I'll admit to not liking tragic endings. However, I do understand that sometimes these things are called for, so don't feel limited.

Fandom specific notes:

Cain Saga aka Count or Earl Cain aka Godchild (Any character):

I checked "any" for a reason, but I especially love Cain/Riff,
Merry/Oscar, one-sided Mikaila/Cain, one-sided Jezebel/Cain, and one-sided
Alexis/Cain. Platonic Cain and Neil stuff would also be great.

I said any, and I meant it. I have favorites, but you shouldn't feel obligated at all. You want to write Riff/Cain? Awesome, I love Riff/Cain. You want to write Alexis/Michaela? Go nuts! Have a plot bunny for White Owl gen? Sounds great! I'm just desperate for more fic for this poor, tiny fandom.

Little Mosque on the Prairie: (Any character)

Gen would be great. I'm particularly fond of Layla, Rayyan,
Amaar, and Reverend Magee, but all of the characters are wonderful.

I love this show and I love these characters. I'm not particularly interested in romance for this show, though if that's your thing go for it. My favorite relationships include Layla and Barber (I love what a mush he is for his daughter), Rayyan and Amaar (snark-tastic), Reverend Magee and Amaar (I love how they bond), and the strange almost friendship that Fatima and Fred seem to have. Hamoudi family fun would not be unappreciated either.

One note: I haven't seen past the second season. Feel free to write beyond that (honestly), but it would be very helpful if you could make a note, just so I know which episodes to hunt down on youtube.

T H White - The Once and Future King series (Guenevere/Lancelot):

Ah, Guenever, Lancelot, and their epic love. Angst is of course
completely understandable, but it would be nice to see a time when their
relationship was going (relatively) well.

Ah, Guenevere and Lancelot. I love these two, troubled as they are. As I mentioned in my request details, I completely understand if you choose to write a lot of angst. (They just beg for it, don't they?) However, I would love to see a time when their relationship was going (comparatively) well. There must have been some times when wasn't Lancelot was off on a guilt induced quest, and Guenevere wasn't acting jealous and dramatic.

EDIT: Ok, I might as well add Tetragrammaton Labyrinth, even though no one signed up to write it but me. Someone might possibly want to write a treat, you never know.

Tetragrammaton Labyrinth (Angel/Margaret Cross):

I'd love to know what Angela and Meg do after the end of the
series.

I'd love to know what these two are doing after the end of the series. Where do they go? Who do they meet? How is their relationship changed? That said, if someone would rather write fic set some other time, that would be lovely too.

Happy writing!

I am the world's worst accident

Tue, 10 Nov 2009 06:32:54 GMT

Yesterday was such a good day. I went clothes shopping with my mom, which I normally really hate, but we found what we were looking for quickly. Then we watched movies, I lent her some books and gave her her birthday present early.

So it figures that today would be a bastion of misery and stress.

I am a fuck up. I am the biggest fuck up in the history of everything.

I have a presentation tomorrow. Not only did I forget about the presentation, I forgot to meet with my partner. So, she showed up at the library. I didn't.

I am such a piece of shit. This is why I hate group projects. I'm a relentless fuck up, but I'd rather not take other people down with me. I called her, and we worked it out, so it will be okay. But still, that fact that I messed up like that in the first place is unforgivable.

So, I didn't get my outline to the professor on time. No idea what that will do to my grade. It won't be pretty, that's for sure.

My life is a mess. A chaotic, ridiculous mess. And it's completely my fault. I cause almost all of my own problems by being an irresponsible, lazy, under-achieving, disorganized, screw up.

Oh, and the violent images that won't leave my head aren't helping. It's been a long time since I've hurt myself, but the urge is still my natural reaction to stress, especially the self-loathing kind. Trying to get through the day while unbidden images of stabbing yourself in the arm, driving a pen through your skull, and ripping out your own throat flash in your mind? Not fun.

I am one sick cookie.

It's about time we had some good news

Fri, 23 Oct 2009 16:14:13 GMT

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/10/23/us/politics/23hate.html?th&emc=th

October 23, 2009
Senate Approves Broadened Hate-Crime Measure
By DAVID STOUT

WASHINGTON — The Senate voted Thursday to extend new federal protections to people who are victims of violent crime because of their sex or sexual orientation, bringing the measure close to reality after years of fierce debate.

The 68-to-29 vote sends the legislation to President Obama, who has said he supports it.

The measure, attached to an essential military-spending bill, broadens the definition of federal hate crimes to include those committed because of a victim’s gender or gender identity, or sexual orientation. It gives victims the same federal safeguards already afforded to people who are victims of violent crimes because of their race, color, religion or national origin.

“Hate crimes instill fear in those who have no connection to the victim other than a shared characteristic such as race or sexual orientation,” Senator Patrick J. Leahy, Democrat of Vermont and chairman of the Senate Judiciary Committee, said afterward. “For nearly 150 years, we have responded as a nation to deter and to punish violent denials of civil rights by enacting federal laws to protect the civil rights of all of our citizens.”

Mr. Leahy sponsored the hate-crimes amendment to the military bill and called its passage a worthy tribute to the late Senator Edward M. Kennedy of Massachusetts, who first introduced hate-crimes legislation in the Senate more than a decade ago.

Opponents argued to no avail that the new measure was unnecessary in view of existing laws and might interfere with local law enforcement agencies. Senator Jim DeMint, Republican of South Carolina, said he agreed that hate crimes were terrible. “That’s why they are already illegal,” Mr. DeMint said, asserting that the new law was a dangerous, even “Orwellian” step toward “thought crime.”

Ten Republicans voted for the hate-crimes measure. The only Democrat to oppose it was Senator Russ Feingold of Wisconsin, who said he could not vote for the current bill “because it does nothing to bring our open-ended and disproportionate military commitment in Afghanistan to an end and/or to ensure that our troops are safely and expeditiously redeployed from Iraq.” The Senate action came two weeks after the House approved the measure, 281 to 146, and would give the federal government the authority to prosecute violent, antigay crimes when local authorities failed to.

The measure would also allocate $5 million a year to the Justice Department to assist local communities in investigating hate crimes, and it would allow the agency to assist in investigations and prosecutions if local agencies requested help.

Federal protections for people who are victims of violent crime because of their sexual orientation have been sought for more than a decade, at least since the 1998 murder of Matthew Shepard, a gay Wyoming college student.
===================================

Now, there are a lot of fear-mongering myths out there about hate crimes legislation. Let's put those myths to rest.

http://www.politicsdaily.com/2009/10/17/preaching-the-gospel-would-be-against-the-law-and-other-hate-c/

Preaching the Gospel Would be Against the Law! (And Other Hate Crimes Myths)SHARESHARE
With a Senate vote expected soon to expand federal hate crimes laws to include sexual orientation, religious conservatives are ramping up the rhetoric against the bill, which passed the House last week. Their anxiety is understandable. Democrats are behind the legislation, and at this month's gala for the Human Rights Campaign, the leading gay rights lobby, President Obama renewed his pledge to sign the bill.

In an effort to guarantee passage, Democratic leaders have attached the bill to a defense appropriations measure, which angers many Republicans who have been able to thwart the legislation in every Congress since 2001, when the bill was first introduced. (The bill is named after Matthew Shepard, a 21-year-old man beaten to death in Wyoming in October 1998 because he was gay, and James Byrd, a black man dragged to his death behind a pickup truck by a gang of white men in Texas a few months before Shepard's 1998 killing.)

Now, however, Republicans who vote to renew funding for the military will face the unpalatable prospect of having voted to broaden the scope of the current hate crimes law to include attacks targeting homosexuals and transgendered people. The bill also covers people with disabilities, though -- no surprise -- it is the inclusion of the LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender) category that is setting conservative teeth on edge.

The talking points being circulated among conservatives and repeated like video loops on talk shows are few but they are powerful -- and they are delivered with conviction:

Pastors would be hounded out of their pulpits or even rounded up because a hate crimes law would "criminalize" speech and particularly sermons that quote scripture saying homosexuality is a sin. The law would also "create" new rights for homosexuals and grant them "special protections" not accorded other Americans. And what the heck is a "hate crime," anyway? All crimes are hate crimes!

The charges sound convincing, but they quickly collapse on closer inspection.

Myth No. 1: Religious persecution is around the corner.

In June, 60 religious conservatives sent a letter asking senators to filibuster the bill, which they said "would criminalize preaching the Gospel and put preachers in the cross-hairs." The letter was signed by the likes of James Dobson of Focus On The Family, Don Wildmon of the American Family Association, and Wendy Wright of Concerned Women for America. Many Republicans, including Rep. Mike Pence of Indiana and Sen. Jim DeMint of South Carolina, agreed with them.

After the House passed the bill on Oct. 8, Tony Perkins of the Family Research Councilrenewed the charges, saying the legislation is an Orwellian "thought-crimes bill" that would give "special rights" to homosexuals. Rep. John Kline of Minnesota echoed that, saying that "any pastor, preacher, priest, rabbi or imam who gives a sermon out of their moral traditions about sexual practices could be found guilty of a federal crime."

But the bill in fact expressly prohibits any such thing, and at several points reaffirms all First Amendment and other constitutional protections on free speech and religious freedom. Among other things it says:

"Nothing in this division, or an amendment made by this division, shall be construed or applied in a manner that infringes any rights under the First Amendment to the Constitution of the United States. Nor shall anything in this division, or an amendment made by this division, be construed or applied in a manner that substantially burdens a person's exercise of religion (regardless of whether compelled by, or central to, a system of religious belief), speech, expression, or association..."

[The full text of the bill can be found here, near the bottom of the National Defense Authorization Act.]

Every earlier draft of this bill had some version of this language, though when the measure went to a House-Senate conference committee to iron out wording differences between the two, the conferees added a condition. It said nothing in the law would impinge on religious freedom unless prosecutors can demonstrate that the speech was "intended to: (A) plan or prepare for an act of physical violence; or (B) incite an imminent act of physical violence against another."

The "conditional" language set off more alarm bells for conservatives, but the additions were in reality designed to reinforce the point that a hate crimes bill deals with crime, not speech. It is about acts that have been committed or are about to be committed. As the folks atFactCheck.org wrote: "Speaking disapprovingly of homosexuals from the pulpit would be one thing; encouraging one's congregation to form a lynching posse Saturday at 4 p.m. at the water tower is quite another."

Moreover, the Constitution has never provided a blanket protection on speech. FactCheck also cited the 1919 case of Schenck v. United States, in which the Supreme Court unanimously held that free speech doesn't mean you can "falsely shout fire in a theater" and thereby cause a stampede. As Chief Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes put it, "The question in every case is whether the words used are used in such circumstances and are of such a nature as to create a clear and present danger."

PolitiFact.com's "Truth-O-Meter" also judged the accusations of threats to free speech and religious protections as "false."

Myth No. 2: All crimes are hate crimes, so why create have a hate-crime law?

First, not all crimes are hate crimes. White-collar crooks often rob people they don't know enough to dislike. Even muggers on the street don't necessarily have a personal animus against the person they are assaulting; they just want the cash. Moreover, the law is full of degrees of criminality. Premeditated murder is not viewed in the same way as a crime of passion, just as rape is treated as an especially heinous type of physical attack that is meant to degrade a victim, and so is deserving of appropriate penalties.

Similarly, hate crimes that target people for who they are tend to be more violent than simple crimes of opportunity, like a robbery. The FBI counted more than 7,600 hate crimes in 2007 (the 2008 data will be released later this month) against a range of groups. Yet while assaults against homosexuals accounted for about 17 percent of all hate crimes (an increase of 5.5 percent, from 1,195 in 2006 to 1,265 in 2007) five of the nine hate crime killings were against LGBT victims. In addition, while less than a third of all hate crimes (31 percent) were violent assaults, nearly half of all crimes motivated by sexual orientation (47 percent) were violent crimes.

These figures demonstrate not only a high degree of anger toward homosexuals, but they also give an idea of the damage these attacks can inflict on an entire community. Just as a serial rapist on the loose sows fear among all women (and their families) and curbs their freedom, so too a hate crime "is meant to terrorize a community, not solely to victimize an individual," as Judy Shepard, the mother of Matthew Shepard, put it.

If blacks or Jews or Latinos or Christians -- or gays and lesbians -- cannot live in a neighborhood or walk the streets without fear of attack, then that climate of fear inhibits the free and full functioning of individuals and society. Laws not only make penalties to inflict on perpetrators who violate societal norms, they also make a statement about what a society values.

Finally, hate crimes are often connected to hate groups, such as the kind of white supremacist organizations and other right-wing extremists that are re-emerging in today's down economy. Local law enforcement officials cannot fight such interstate crimes without federal assistance.

Myth No. 3: Hate-crime protection for gays creates "new rights" that privilege them above others.

Nothing inflames public opinion more than the idea that someone, somewhere, is getting something everyone else is not. Hence the power of the argument that the new hate crimes bill would grant special privileges.

The problem with this accusation is that this bill actually expands existing hate crimes protections that have been in place since 1969. Those laws already provide protection for acts committed on the basis of the victim's race, color, religion or national origin. By including LGBT people, as well as people with disabilities, the new law would simply provide the same protections that others, including some of the very believers who are objecting to the bill, have enjoyed for 40 years.

And there is evidence that homosexuals are as much at risk as other groups. According to a June 2007 report by the Williams Institute (in a pdf format), on average, 13 in 100,000 homosexuals and bisexuals report being victimized, compared with 8 in 100,000 African-Americans, 12 in 100,000 Muslims and 15 in 100,000 Jews.

A spokesperson for House Republican leader John Boehner, who opposes the current hate crimes bill, told CBS News this month that Boehner supports the existing federal protections (based on race, religion, gender, etc) because they are "based on immutable characteristics."

That argument has two problems: One is that science indicates homosexuality is not a choice but is largely innate. Besides, if that's the "lifestyle" one chooses, should it not be protected from assault? A second problem is Boehner's apparent belief that religion is also innate, rather than something that can be changed. Indeed, surveys show that about half of all Americans do change their religious "orientation" or label at some point during their lives. That is hardly "immutable."

Myth No. 4: The hate crimes bill would protect pedophiles -- and worse.

One of the more objectionable objections is that, as one viral e-mail has it, the hate crimes bill will give "legally protected status to 30 sexual orientations, including incest."

A subsequent alert sent out by the Traditional Values Coalition (and picked up by politicians like Republican Rep. Louie Gohmert of Texas) listed some of the other supposedly protected sexual behaviors as exhibitionism and pedophilia.

"As a result," the Traditional Values Coalition charges, "if a parent assaults a pedophile for molesting a child, the parent can be convicted of a hate crime and receive an enhanced sentence." The TVC says the 30 behaviors are all listed in the American Psychiatric Association's standard reference work, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, fourth edition (DSM-IV).

As FactCheck.org puts it, "This is pure bunk." The DSM-IV explicitly states that sexual orientation "refers to erotic attraction to males, females or both." Pedophilia and incest and other criminal behaviors are not listed as "sexual orientations" and homosexuality is not listed as a sexual disorder.

Those are the facts, but they don't mean there aren't reasons for opposing the new hate crimes bill.

Social conservatives can argue, for example, that the bill is another step down the slippery slope to gay marriage. And some opponents, even in the gay community, worry that expanding the definition of hate crimes to include sexual orientation with foster a "culture of victimization" around homosexuals.

Andrew Sullivan, for example, is an openly gay and widely read political conservative who opposes the bill.

"I'm against hate crime laws -- every single one of them. I also understand and respect the argument for them, even as I strongly disagree," Sullivan recently wrote at his popular blog,The Daily Dish. Sullivan went on to denounce the GOP opposition to the bill as based on "bigotry -- and it's coming from the very top."

At the end of the day, of course, many will see conservative opposition to the hate crimes bill as politics-as-usual.

But assumptions that Republicans are acting in their own best interest -- throwing another bone to their hungry base -- may be the final myth about the hate crimes bill.

A May 2007 Gallup survey showed that Americans overwhelmingly favor (78-18 percent) hate crimes laws for acts "committed on the basis of the victim's race, color, religion or national origin." The positive ratio drops somewhat, to 68-27 percent, when respondents were asked whether sexual orientation and gender identity should be included.

But support for such an expansion of hate crimes laws was still 60 percent among Republicans and 64 percent among weekly church attenders.

Go figure.
===================================

Perhaps the most pervasive objection is that of the "thought crime." It shouldn't matter why you kill someone, just the crime itself. That's exactly right. That's why we always judge murder on the exact level. It doesn't matter if it was premeditated, accidental, or in self-defense. Everyone who kills someone else gets judged the exact same way.

Except that's not true.

If I'm ever arrested for murder, if anyone argues that it was premeditated I'm going to scream "thought crime". Why does it matter what was going through my head when I did it? My civil liberties are being violated!

And I'd like to say that hate crimes do terrorize an entire group of people. When I learned that Angie Zapata had been murdered not far from where I live, it scared me. When I hear that transgender people have a one in 12 chance of being murdered (the national average is about a one in 18,000 chance of being murdered), that scares me. When two Boulder citizens were gay bashed within days of each other, it scared me. ate crimes are bigger than the one person attacked. They send a message: if you are Black/gay/disabled/Jewish/whatever we will hurt you.

Of course, as mentioned in the last article, hate crime laws have been on the books since 1969. It's only now that they're being expanded to include GLBT people that there's an uproar. Hmm, I wonder why that might be?

There's just one more step before this becomes law, and Obama has previously said that he supports the bill.

Oh, and can I just congratulate the Democrats on actually using their brains to get this thing passed? And I thought they had forgotten how to do that!

In defense of Gwen/Lancelot

Sun, 11 Oct 2009 16:19:36 GMT

I've been reading the reactions to Merlin 2x04 "Lancelot and Guinevere." Some squee, some criticism, which is normal and as it should be. But I thought I'd respond to some of the criticism that I don't find fair. I don't expect this to turn anyone into OMG GWEN/LANCE FOREVER!!, just to offer evidence that the relationship makes sense. (Well, as much as anything in this show makes sense.)

People have been commenting that the relationship between Gwen and Lancelot is rushed and came out of nowhere. The word I would use is "sudden." The background for their relationship is sparse but there. When they first meet, Lancelot treats Gwen like a lady, like she's special just for being her. Morgana's used to that kind of treatment, but Gwen's not. It's not surprising that it would get her attention. Plus, they share a moment before Lancelot goes off to fight the griffin. (Hm, I'm detecting a pattern here, Lancelot, and I'm not liking it.) I've seen people say that Gwen's too practical to ever think of Lancelot after he left. I don't think that one follows the other. Gwen is too practical to mope around the castle after he left. But it's hardly unreasonable to imagine that Gwen occasionally thought about the attractive man who was very nice to her, and whom she felt a connection with.

The second time they meet they share much more than a touching moment. Lancelot adores Gwen, and Gwen feels very strongly for Lancelot. They kiss. Too much? I don't think so. Lancelot is exactly that type of person. He became attracted to Gwen when he first met, and he's had time to dwell on that. Putting her on pedestal to the point where he's head over heels with his image of her seems in character for Lancelot. (Note that I didn't say healthy, I said in character.)

Now, Gwen is an extremely stressful and emotional situation. She knows that Uther isn't going to pay the ransom. She doesn't think that there's any hope for her. Hengist doesn't help by playing up the "no one's coming for you" thing. But wait! Here's Lancelot! Lancelot who acted like she was worth something to him before, Lancelot who sees the sun and the moon in her now, Lancelot who promises to rescue her. Is it any wonder that she'd become strongly attached? And there's no forgetting that tense, life or death situations can cause people to bond very quickly. So, while I would have preferred something more slow and gradual, how it happened didn't feel particularly wrong to me.

However, if you think that I'm going to defend the way that Lancelot abandoned Gwen, you're very wrong. That was an incredibly stupid and unkind thing to do, and it pisses me off that no one is considering Gwen's feelings. That said, I blame the writers for writing themselves in a corner. What would have happened if Gwen and Lancelot actually talked?

Lancelot: I won't come between you and Arthur!

Gwen: He said that nothing can ever happen between us. His dad won't allow it.

Lancelot: But he has feelings for you!

Gwen: He dumped me. What about my feelings for you?

Lancelot: ...Let's get married!

Gwen: Let's date first.

Lancelot: Also good.

It kind of screws up the Arthur/Gwen thing that is clearly being planned.

And on the subject of Arthur/Gwen, there's been some dissatisfaction from that camp, which is largely manifesting itself by bashing Gwen and Lancelot. There's a lot of talk that Gwen is a slut for kissing Lancelot, and that she was completely forgetting Arthur. This upsets me, and I'll tell you why.

Arthur cut off their budding relationship. He kissed Gwen, then told her it wouldn't work out. What should Gwen do? Should she hopelessly pine over a man who's dumped her? Let's remember the history of the Arthur/Gwen relationship. For the first ten episodes, he ignored her except for that time her arrested her for a crime she didn't commit. He first really pays attention to her in 1x10 (one of the best scenes in the whole show) and then in 1x13. In 2x01, she saves his life and he babbles at her. (Poor guy was probably suffering from a head injury and can be forgiven for not being entirely coherent.) Their first extended interaction comes in 2x02, and he spends most of that time being an entitled jerk. He kisses her, then tells her they can't be together. Now, I'm not bashing Arthur/Gwen, and I'm not saying that their end relationship will be bad. The writers are obviously going to give them a lot more to work with as the show progresses. However, as of 2x04 Gwen is single. Arthur dumped her. And to see Arthur/Gwen fans bashing Gwen for daring to look at another man (who clearly thinks the world of her and who doesn't hide his feelings behind arrogance and insults) reeks of a very upsetting double standard. (Because if there's one thing that Arthurian legend teaches us, it's that it's always the woman's fault. Grrr.)

Unfortunately, I've been seeing seeds of Arthur/Gwen versus Gwen/Lancelot ship wars. I have two main reactions. One is to be sad, because ship wars suck and make nobody happy. The other is to be amused. Because, seriously folks, what we have here is a centuries old ship war. Nobody's going to win today.

And besides, won't somebody please think of the threesomes?

Also, an unspoilery complaint: The smushed paring names must stop. First there was Merthur and Arwen, one of which sounds moronic, while the other is a Lord of the Rings character. That was bad enough, but now we have Gwencelot. It has to end, people. I can't take the madness.

Fic: Consequences

Fri, 09 Oct 2009 06:25:45 GMT

Title: Consequences
Fandom: Merlin
Pairing: Merlin/Morgana
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Graphic sex; the most minor, inconsequential spoilers for 2x03
Length: ~850
A/N: Written for Vagina Fest: Round Two. I have a mountain of other things I need to write, but what can you do?

Morgana's eyes flash gold and invisible hands throw Merlin onto her bed. "You should have been honest with me," she bites out. "The second you knew, you should have told me."

"I know." Merlin meets her eyes. He won't look away. He owes her that, at least.

"Why did you lie to me for so long? Why did you let me think I was going insane?" Her voice is cold and lethal, and she watches him like a predator.

Merlin swallows. What had been perfectly valid reasons are looking more and more like pathetic excuses under her furious gaze. "I thought... that I was doing what was best for you."

Morgana laughs, a harsh, dangerous sound. "Because of course I couldn't be trusted to make decisions for myself. Morgana can't be allowed to worry her pretty little head about magic, about her own life. Leave that to men. Is that right?"

Merlin wants to deny it, but that sounds far too close to the truth. "I didn't mean to hurt you."

She marches up to him and wraps her hand around his throat. "And yet you did."

The pressure on his throat feels strange and unnerving. It's probably the wrong thought to have, but Merlin can't help noticing how glorious Morgana looks when she's angry. But there's more than anger there. There's hurt and the long aftereffects of fear. "I'm sorry," he says. He means it.

"You should be." She leans down, her hair falling around them like a dark curtain. Her eyes meet his, and the sound of their breathing is the only thing breaking the heavy silence. "I haven't forgiven you," she tells him roughly. "I won't for a very long time, if ever." Then she kisses him fiercely. Merlin's eyes widen and he starts to push himself up, but Morgana's magic hold him down as she tightens her grip on his throat very slightly. She stares at him, her expression inscrutable. "You could break free, couldn't you?" she asks softly.

He's through lying to her. "Yes."

"But you won't."

"No."

That's all she needs. She kisses him again, hard enough to bruise. She works her hands under his shirt. Her fingers are soft and cool against his skin, and he can't keep himself from gasping. He wants to run his fingers through her hair, but when he tries to lift his hands, her magic still holds him fast. "It's your turn to feel helpless," she says.

He laughs shakily. "You have never been helpless, my lady." She laughs back, just a little, her eyes wild and bright with a light that has nothing to do with magic and everything to do with her own inner fire.

Some of the tension has lightened, and Morgana has apparently pulled herself back from the knife's edge. But there's still something mad and untamed in her smile, and she still has her hand wrapped lightly around Merlin's throat. She brushes her fingers over his lips. "Show me something," she whispers. Merlin doesn't need to ask what she means. Grinning, he unties the laces of her dress without moving a finger, and his breath catches as fabric fall away to reveal bare skin. Morgana gives him a knowing smirk, and she leans in to kiss him again as she unlaces his trousers and wraps her hand around his cock. Merlin moans and wriggles as best he can. Morgana finally takes her hand off of his throat, positioning herself over him before lowering herself onto his cock. She groans softly and tosses her head, shifting slightly. Then she puts her hands on his chest and begins to ride him.

It's maddening, being unable to move, but the hungry look on Morgana's face makes it more than worth it. Merlin considers slowing down time just to make this moment last longer. Morgana slips off her shift, freeing her bare breasts. Merlin is unable to hold back a whimper. "Maybe someday you'll get to touch them," Morgana tells him smugly.

"You're evil," Merlin pants out.

"You love it." She slams her hips down, and Merlin comes with a hoarse cry. Morgana slides off of him. She wriggles her fingers at him, then slips them inside herself. She moans and twists as she pleasures herself, letting out a breathy sigh as she brings herself to climax. Only then does Merlin feel the invisible pressure lift. He sits up, trembling.

"That was..." he starts, before Morgana cuts him off with a kiss. It's soft at first, until she bites his lip just hard enough to be uncomfortable.

"I still haven't forgiven you." She says firmly.

"Right."

"You should go. Arthur will want you first thing in the morning."

Merlin groans dejectedly. "He's such a prat."

"Yes, but he's our prat."

"True." Reluctantly, Merlin stands and walks to the door.

"Merlin?" He turns at the sound of Morgana's voice. She's smiling, just a little. "I might forgive you. Someday."

Merlin grins. "Goodnight, my lady." He shuts the door behind him and walks back to his room, glad that the halls are empty, so there's no one to see the ridiculous look on his face.

Utena drabbles

Sat, 03 Oct 2009 00:58:21 GMT

So, I signed up for the Tarot Challenge over at femslash100. Here are are my first four.

Title: V: The Hierophant
Prompt: Number Five: The Hierophant
Fandom: Revolutionary Girl Utena
Pairing: Utena/Anthy
Rating: G
Word count: 100
A/N: Possible meanings for The Hierophant include "marriage alliance" and "servitude."

Girls don't marry other girls. Utena knows this. She and Anthy aren't engaged, no matter what some stupid rule says.

No one has told Anthy this, apparently. She calls herself Utena's bride, and she acts like one too. Utena has never lived in such a spotless dorm, and Anthy's cooking skills may be meager, but she tries.

It's ridiculous, but there's something soothing in hearing Anthy's soft breath in the middle of the night, something comfortable about meals just for them.

Girls aren't supposed to marry other girls, but then again, girls aren't supposed to be princes either, are they?

Title: XV: The Devil
Prompt: Number Fifteen: The Devil
Fandom: Revolutionary Girl Utena
Pairing: Kozue/Juri
Rating: PG-13
Word count: 100
A/N: Possible meanings for The Devil include "lust," "hedonism" "passion," and "animal instincts." I'm rereading The Picture of Dorian Gray. Does it show?

It's thrilling, this feeling. The power of unbridled lust. Juri loathes it. She is a creature of icy control, mistrustful of her own passion.

Kozue is just the opposite. She's all animal instincts, reveling in carnality. And so it's something special when she can make Juri buck, writhe, and moan, losing herself to lust.

It doesn't mean anything, naturally. A useless thing. But so wonderful for exactly that reason. Her relationship with Juri is desire for desire's sake. It's what keeps both of them coming back.

Juri is falling. And Kozue lounges in the pits of hell, ready and waiting.

Title: XX: Judgment
Prompt: Number Twenty: Judgment
Fandom: Revolutionary Girl Utena
Pairing: Utena/Anthy
Rating: G
Word count: 100
A/N: Possible meanings for Judgment include "renewal" and "change of position." Vague spoilers for the end of series.

It's different between them now, now that they're no longer Rose Bride and duelist. Meeting again has changed everything.

They argue now. The first time Anthy disagreed with her, Utena gave in out of shock. She likes it though, likes knowing that she can push and Anthy will push right back.

Everyday Utena learns something new about Anthy. She loves fresh plums but hates umeboshi. Daisies are her favorite flower. She can't stand the scent of roses.

It's not easy or perfect, but each day brings a new wonder. Each day Utena falls in love with Anthy all over again.

Title: IX: The Hermit
Prompt: Number Nine: The Hermit
Fandom: Revolutionary Girl Utena
Pairing: Shiori/Juri
Rating: PG
Word count: 100
A/N: Possible meanings for The Hermit include "treason" and "corruption."

Shiori knows she isn't a good person. She's cruel and selfish. It was a miracle that someone like Juri ever looked at her. Juri, who's beautiful, graceful, and smart. Juri, who's perfect.

But not completely perfect. She never noticed how Shiori really felt. She never guessed that Shiori planned to betray her.

Shiori must be some sort of monster to hurt someone as kind Juri, but she knew that already. She's terrible, rotten to the core. She's a sickness, corrupting everything she touches.

But she can't resist the look in Juri's eyes when she hurts her.

It's all she has.

Things you should know

Thu, 01 Oct 2009 00:54:58 GMT

My kitty is adorable! Yes, you need to know know this. She likes to sleep on the scratching post/cat furniture that my brother got me for me birthday. At first I was worried that she wouldn't get much use out of it, since she's declawed in the front, but she seems to get a kick out of pawing at it.

I also thought that she might not play with the catnip mice that I bought her, but she likes those two.

Besides, her scratching post, her favorite place to be is in my closet, lying on the blanket sat her litter box sits on. GO figure.

In other new anime_manga is having its second Prompt Battle! Whoo! Prompts are being accepted until Sunday, October 4th, so go request.

Celebrate your freedom to read!

Tue, 29 Sep 2009 14:28:32 GMT

This week is Banned Books Week. I like to celebrate by reading banned book. This year's choice is The Great Gatsby. Yeah, it's a little embarrassing that I haven't read it before, but it's shocking and shameful what I have yet to read.

If you want to read a banned book to celebrate, it won't take much effort. One of the top ten challenged books for 2008 was And Tango Makes Three, a children's picture book about two male penguins at the New York City's Central Park Zoo who who hatched an egg together. I'm reluctant to use human words for non-human animals, but let's face it, they're gay penguins. You can imagine how well the book goes over with the religious right. So make a statement: read a picture book.

Go here for the ten top challenged titles, which includes His Dark Materials and Scary Stories. You can also go here for more information. It's absolutely ridiculous, some of the books that have been banned and challenged. Also, people who want to ban To Kill a Mockingbird based on racist language are really missing the point. One of the main points of the book is the evils of racism. How is supposed to do that without showing that racism? And people who want to ban Roll of Thunder, Hear My Cry for the same reasons are missing the point even more. It's about a Black family in the 1930's who interact with white people. Should we sanitize history by removing hateful language and actions? What a good way to hide the fact that white people have been racist fuckheads throughout American history. Or should books about Black people that take place prior to 1980 or so just never be written? I really don't think that's the solution. (I suppose you could try and write a novel where the Black people never interact with white people, but I'm not sure how possible it would be. Plus, wow, there's a limitation.

Also, people who want to ban any book even mentioning LGBTQ people (or penguins) as "not age appropriate" make me want to kill things. But you could guess that.

Fic- For Remembrance

Sat, 26 Sep 2009 15:20:30 GMT

Title: For Remembrance
Fandom: Merlin
Characters: Hunith, Merlin
Rating: PG
Word Count: ~1200
Spoilers: 1x10
A/N: This was supposed to be my matrithon fic, but uh, that didn't work out. (Note to self: in the future, remember your damn prompt.)

This is then:

Hunith's mother once told her that memories were the province of the old. The young look toward the future, not the past. Now that she has grown old herself, she thinks it's true. She understands the allure of memories now. There is certainty in the past.

She looks at her son and at the friends who are standing by his side. There is something hopeful in them, despite knowing the danger that's coming tomorrow. Impossible as it is, Hunith finds herself wishing they could keep that hope forever.

She can't believe it though. She remembers to much of the world.

This is what she remembers:

The winter wind whistles through the cracks of their hut, and Hunith huddles together with her mother and sisters for warmth. This winter has been hard and gone on too long. There is talk of finding a sorcerer who knows weather magic. Hunith doubts anything will come of it. Ealdor has no money, and even sorcerers can't eat good deeds. She may be only a child, but she knows that much.

Hunith thinks it might be nice to be a sorcerer. She wouldn't have to work in the fields, feed the chickens, or look after her little sister. She would be a good sorcerer and would always help her neighbors fix their leaky roofs and make them better when they were sick or hurt.

Hunith sighs and draws closer to her mother. Wishing is all very fine, but tomorrow she'll still be plain ordinary Hunith with no magic to help her with her chores. Their clothes will be too thin and the food too scarce. The baker's baby will still be sick, maybe even dead.

Magic would fix everything, if they had it. Hunith knows it with all the perfect certainty of a child. But there's no magic in Ealdor.

This is what she remembers:

Camelot is full of bustle, and noise, and more people than Hunith has ever seen. She can't find in in herself to be too excited, however. Not with her sister dead in ground.

She remembers Amira's smile before she left for Camelot, so full of hope. It's not a bad final memory to have. Still Hunith wishes that she could have seen Amira just once more.

She doesn't want to return quite yet, doesn't want to have to deliver the tragic news. So she helps Amira's husband with his work. Gaius is a physician and small time sorcerer, and he never tires of explaining his work. It keeps their minds off Amira.

Hunith is disappointed to learn that she has no natural talent for magic. Not that she ever put much stock in her childhood dreams, but it's still a bit disheartening.

"It's rather strange though," Gaius tells her. "You'll have very little luck performing magic. However magic is," he waves his hand, looking for the right word, "drawn to you. I can't promise that it won't bring you trouble."

So, Hunith's visit to Camelot has brought her a dead sister and possible magical trouble. She should have stayed home.

This is what she remembers:

Every young woman knows that it's unwise to walk alone on the longest night of the year. Some of the concerns are practical: it's cold, and freezing to death because you were too much of a fool to go inside is just embarrassing.

But there are other, darker reasons. Every bit of common sense is telling Hunith to turn around. She ignores it. There's something to find out there.

The man standing on the path is extraordinarily handsome. Hunith suddenly feels very aware of her humble appearance.

His golden eyes seem to stare into her soul. "Most women know better than to look for me."

"I'm not most women," she tells him. "I'm me."

He laughs and kisses her. Suddenly it feels like summer. When he lays her down, the snow might as well be sun drenched grass.

There's a sharp pain when he enters her, but he kisses her softly and soon the pain becomes pleasure.

Hunith doesn't know how long they lie together. It could be minutes or hours. He disappears like a phantom, and Hunith is left with nothing but the ghostly feel of his touch against her skin.

Her footsteps are silent as she walks back.

This is what she remembers:

Hunith is only slightly surprised when Merlin's eyes flash gold for the first time, and the pitcher he has been reaching toward goes flying across the room. She has almost been waiting for it. However, it's sudden enough for her to freeze until Merlin grabs one of the broken pieces and cuts his hand. Her baby's wail of pain sends her racing toward him.

She had hoped that Merlin would be spared the grief of being different. Magic isn't appreciated like it once was. Sorcerers aren't hired, they're murdered. The thought makes Hunith sick.

"Nobody's going to hurt you," she whispers as she holds Merlin close. "Not as long as I'm alive." Merlin smiles a blissful, uncomprehending smile and tugs at her hair. Hunith swats his hand. "What am I going to do with you?"

What is she going to do with him? How can she teach a baby to hide himself? And how will she teach him caution without also teaching him shame?

"There's nothing wrong with you. It's the rest of the world that's wrong." She'll tell him that. She'll tell him every day. "You're perfect just the way you are."

Merlin blows a spit bubble and laughs.

This is what she remembers:

She checks and double checks Merlin's pack, and then she checks again. Is there enough food? Warm clothes?

"I don't think there's anything new in there, mum." Merlin is looking at her, amused. She's glad. Hunith knows that Merlin is feeling conflicted. He doesn't want to leave her or Will. However, their little village is too small for him and he knows it, even if he doesn't want to admit it.

"Let a mother worry," she tells him. "I need to fit in all my fretting now."

His expressions turns serious. "I don't have to go."

"Yes you do. Because you listen to your mother, right?"

He smiles a little. "Yeah."

She hugs him. "I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too."

She hands him the pack. "You'll stay out of trouble?"

He gives her a sheepish grin. "I'll try."

She sighs. "That will have to do. Now, go. I'm sure that Will is skulking around somewhere, pretending that he doesn't want to say goodbye." She kisses his forehead and watches him leave. She doesn't go outside. Let the boys have a private goodbye.

It's for the best, she knows that. Still, she can't stop feeling like her heart is breaking.

This is now:

Hunith smiles as she watches Merlin and his friends ride away. It's a sad smile-- so much has been lost -- but it's a true one.

Merlin is different now. Not less clumsy or less likely to put his foot in his mouth, but he has a strength that wasn't there before.

Last time Merlin left, Hunith was afraid. This time she isn't. Not after seeing the loyalty and goodness of his friends. She tucks away the memory of their courage.

She will hold on to these memories, bittersweet as they are. That's the right of the old, after all.

Je Suis Loser

Sat, 26 Sep 2009 04:55:30 GMT

Things that are not fun:

School Curse you school, you are the very bane of my existence. Thank you to the people who gave me advice on bullshitting papers for class. I appreciate said advice very much, I assure you.

I have to stop taking seminars. They're interesting, but they are way too much freaking work.

It's cold! Normally, Colorado doesn't let the date determine its weather (70 degree Januaries and frigid late Aprils), but this time it got word that Fall was starting and got cold. I hate it! I can't manage to dress just right. I'm always too hot or too cold. It's supposed to warm up over the weekend though.

So, after much angst, I finished my fic for matrithon. Or so I thought. I thought my prompt was "Hunith: memories." It turns out that it's "Hunith: secrets." Yeah. You know, normally I'm obsessive about checking and rechecking my prompt to make sure I'm doing it right. The one time I don't, this happens.

Well, I still have a few days, and more fic is always good, right? Especially minor character fic.

Still, dagnabbit.

Something that is fun:

springkink is open for claiming. Lots of good prompts! Bleach, Count Cain, Saiyuki, Yami no Matsuei, Merlin, Revolutionary Girl Utena, all the stuff that my flist loves! I've claimed four prompts, which is over my usual self imposed limit of three, but I just couldn't help myself. I'm still tempted to nab a few more of those Riff/Cain prompts. Please do it so that I don't have to.

Now if you'll excuse me, I clearly have fic to write. (And on a deadline!)

Mon, 21 Sep 2009 14:17:01 GMT

So, when the professor says "6 pages as the very minimum" and you're not sure you'll make a full five, is that time to worry? Because, yeah, I think it might be. Also, the time I have to finish it is rapidly slipping away, largely because I'm avoiding it because it won't be long enough.

I hate theory classes.

Stuff has happened!

Fri, 18 Sep 2009 15:56:32 GMT

So, it was my birthday a week ago. (I never post about my birthday on my birthday. I'm that much of procrastinator.) I got the third season of Doctor Who (finally). Martha is awesome, and I love her. Also, I can't decide whether the final episode was really awesome or really stupid.

But that's not important. What important is that I have a kitty! This is the most wonderful thing ever. Her name is Mazzie.

I need to take some pictures of her myself, rather than just the Humane Society's photo. But isn't she cute? Yes, she is. Don't try and pretend otherwise.

So happy with my kitty, la la la.

In other news, I've signed up for remixthedrabble and you should too. It's much less terror inducing that regular remix (or so I say), and you only have have written five stories of 100 words or more in a single fandom. Plus, you can choose to only write a remix or only offer your fics to be remixed. Or you can do both. So many options! Right now I'm the only person signed up for both Revolutionary Girl Utena and Count Cain/Godchild. This is a travesty. I know that I have Utena and Cain writers on my flist. Sign up and then I won't be lonely. And it will make things easier on the mods because they'll have more people to match up. Sign ups end today. (Yes, I know I should have posted this sooner. Procrastinator, remember?)

Fic- Object Lesson

Tue, 08 Sep 2009 02:08:52 GMT

Title: Object Lesson
Fandom: Revolutionary Girl Utena
Pairings: Akio/Kozue, One-sided Kozue/Miki
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: ~1050
Warnings: Incest, explicit sex (not incestuous), Kozue being Kozue, Spoilers for episode 26
A/N: Written for the kink_bingo prompt, "exhibitionism." Many thanks to ravenbell for betaing.
Summary: Set during Miki's car ride. Akio and Kozue put on a show, and Kozue imparts a few life lessons.

Kozue's heart raced and a jolt of panic went through her as Akio leapt over the windshield. We're going to crash, she thought. But they didn't. The car raced along the darkened road with perfect control, and Akio turned his head toward her, mocking laughter in his eyes. Kozue looked calmly back at him. She felt proud that she had stayed composed despite her shock. However it appeared that poor Miki hadn't been so lucky. His eyes were comically wide, and his mouth hung slightly open. Of course, he did have a lot to take in.

"This is impossible," he muttered.

"Akio-san can make anything possible," Kozue retorted. "You only need to reach out and take it." Pushing any uncertainty back, she climbed onto the hood of the car, ignoring Miki's worried shouts of protest. She felt unsteady, as if she might tumble down to the unforgiving road at any moment, but she didn't let it show. Akio smiled wolfishly at her and she grinned back. His expression never changed as he leaned back, staring straight up at Kozue with knowing eyes. She purred. "You always know just what I want." She met Miki's gaze. He looked disoriented, as if he couldn't process what he was seeing. She kept eye contact even as she began to unbutton Akio's pants.

"What are you doing?" Miki's voice was choked with disbelief.

Kozue laughed. "You're still such a child. What do you think we're doing?" She pushed Akio's pants down and hiked up her skirt. Miki cringed when he realized that she wasn't wearing underwear. She gave a small moan as she lowered herself onto Akio's cock.

"Oh, god." Miki sounded like he might be sick. But he didn't look away. Kozue had thought that he might blush, but instead he was deathly pale.

"It's adults who get what they want." Kozue said as she brought her hips up and down. "And to be an adult, you have to get dirty."

"Stop it," Miki whispered.

"You can cover your eyes if you want to," Kozue told him. "Isn't that what you always do? Look away and pretend that everything is clean and tidy, even if it means living a lie? Lie to everyone else if you want to, but don't like to yourself. You'll never get what you want that way. Don't hide from the truth." Her voice was almost gentle. "See the world as it is and anything is possible. Isn't that right, Akio-san?"

"Indeed," Akio replied, his voice silky smooth. "When you decide what it is that you truly want, and then decide to take it, that's when you will see the End of the World"

Miki shook his head, though his eyes never left Kozue. "I don't want that world."

Fine," Kozue spat, "but you'll stay a child forever."

"I don't want to be an adult! I know what they're like." Miki glared at Akio.

"Only adults win, brother dear. A child just wishes helplessly. Adults take what they want." Kozue smiled ferally. "Eat or be eaten. That's how it works."

She rocked against Akio and let out a guttural groan. Miki flinched, but he didn't turn his head. Kozue knew that he couldn't look away, not anymore than he could sprout wings and fly away. Of course she knew. She was his other half. He needed to see this. He'd be better for it in the long run. Not that her motives were totally altruistic. She was too selfish for that. (Wiser to be selfish.) It was so wonderful to have Miki's complete attention, to know that she was the only thing in his world, if only for a little while. Watch me, my love, she thought. See only me.

However, he wasn't yet ready to belong to her. Wild animals brought wounded prey for their young to hunt. Like them, Kozue would start Miki on his path. "You want the Rose Bride, right?"

Miki looked startled. "What?"

"It's a simple yes or no question. Do you want her, desire her?" Kozue leered. "Do you want to fuck her?"

"I... I..." Miki couldn't seem to make his voice work.

Maybe it was all too much for him. He was such a gentle boy, after all. However, Kozue felt no pity. She began to ride Akio harder. "Answer the question!"

"Yes!" Miki finally shouted. "Yes, I do." His voice shook. He was breaking down and Kozue would be the one to build him up again.

"Then take her. It's the only thing to do."

Miki swallowed and nodded slightly. He was beginning to understand.

Kozue smiled hungrily. "Good boy." She slammed her body down one final time. The world exploded into blinding light as she came, and the last thing she heard was Akio's laughter resounding through the emptiness.

Kozue woke up in her own bed, the early morning sun streaming through the window. She looked to the side to see Miki glancing around wildly. "Was that... a dream?"

Kozue scoffed internally and was about to tell him not to be stupid, but she stopped herself. Miki was in a precarious place now and still required a bit of a gentle touch. "It must have been," she said easily, "whatever it was." She kicked the covers off and got out of bed. "Well, I'm going to take a shower." She grinned back at Miki. "You can join me if you want."

Miki blushed deeply. "Don't say things like that!" He covered his face with his hands.

Kozue laughed slightly. "Some things never change. Hey," she said, something softer in her voice. "I was going to build a bird house for those baby birds." It was stupid. She knew it was stupid; so dumb to care about a bunch of ridiculous animals. But Kozue always did what she wanted, when she wanted, and if she felt like building a bird house, then she would. "You could help if you wanted to," she told Miki.

Miki smiled brightly. "Of course! We can start as soon as class gets out." He paused, frowning, and was silent for a while. "I'm going to challenge Tenjou-sempai to a duel."

Kozue nodded approvingly as a thrill of satisfaction went through her. "We'll make something of you yet." Ignoring Miki's puzzled expression, she turned and left the room, her steps steady and sure.