Well, apparently I am NEVER POSTING IN RP AGAIN. It goes like this:

You promised you would post tonight.

No, too tired.

Work through the exhuastion.

Hey, look! There are monsters coming out of my bed! :D

...Go to bed. Sleep off the crazy.

Right-o! :D

It's the next day. You need to post.

Getting period. Fuck off. I spent seven hours in bed because the Vicoden made me too tired to move. Now the Vicoden's wearing off, and I have horrible pain. The world should just fuck off.

In less "I suck" news, I finally finished chapter two of Same Plot, Different Shinigami. It only took me four months. Ravenbell, would you mind betaing?

Can I blame any stupid things I say today on the Vicoden? So tired.

On Saturday, I was killed by zombies. It was perfect way celebrate Halloween, I think.

I've put off making this post for a long time, and I really don't want to, but loose ends need to be tied up, and I've got to get closure.

So, rp. More specifically online rp. Most specifically meiji_restored. I vanished off the face of the game. First, a went through several long bouts without posting. That had happened before, and it usually coincided with my slipping into depression. However, near the end they were becoming very frequent. What's more, in the past, all I had to do was force myself to write a post, and that would jump-start my interest. However, eventually that didn't help. I just couldn't make myself enjoy it.

The mods sent me quite a few emails, but eventually gave up. I don't blame them. They had much better things to do than to hound me.

Why did I leave? It wasn't because I was tired of playing my characters. I still adore my characters. It wasn't because I don't like rping anymore. I'm currently eying some games I might join. It wasn't because I didn't like the people there. I did.

So, why did I leave? The simple answer is that many of my favorite characters to play against were gone, and many of my favorite players had left. There were still people I enjoyed playing with, and characters who were interesting to play against, but the people and characters who added that extra spark were gone.

Was that all there was to it? I'm not sure. I can't answer, because I don't know.

Why didn't I officially leave? You know, post a message announcing my departure? Well, for the longest time, I kept meaning to actually rejoin the game. Writing this is sort of me finally admitting that that will not be happening. And at this point, a message would just seem redundant.

I do truly apologize for the trouble and stress I've caused people.

Ugh. You know, I'm not trying to avoid people or slack off in rp, stuff just keeps happening. The internet at my dad's went down. He was out of town, so he couldn't fix it, my mom's house has no computer, and the local library has been closed for a month, and will remain closed until they finish moving everything into the new building.

I'm not going to be doing anything today because I am freaking exhausted. I think it's the painkillers. I'm having my period, and the experience is always agonizing. Dear goddess, I want a hysterectomy. But that's very long rant that I'm way too tired to get into right now.

Rose of Versailles is an excellent anime. I highly recommend it.

Right now I'm reading a book called Toxic Parents. It's... well, it's been somewhat useful. That's another thing I'd to get into, but I'm just too tired.

Taken from fujifunmum

You name any three people/characters. I have to pick one to push off a cliff, one to marry, and one to shag.


Sorry, I'm not so much with the posting. I've been really active in meiji_restored, and that's been eating a good sized portion of my internet life. More on that later... hopefully.

http://www.gothamist.com/archives/2006/06/10/picture_of_the_4.php

Hee hee

In other new, yay, Rochan! Man, so many great players are coming back.

In other, other news, I saw X-Men Three yesterday. I liked it a lot, though ( spoilers start here )

I also rented Batman Begins, and saw that. I liked it a lot. Am I really twisted for thinking that Dr. Crane/Scarecrow was really cute? I rented House of Flying Daggers as well, but I haven't watched it yet.

I am so freaking glad you're back. I have so much fun playing with you. And I'll never be able to look at the word "thespian" the same way again.

Whoo, a lot of stuff has happened. Because it's not really in my nature to go into a lot of detail when it comes to events, I'll give soundbites.

--Lost my job. I wasn't raising enough money. I should be more upset than I am. I hated that job. Still, it's pretty embarrassing to lose a job after a week.

--Went to New York, New Jersey, and Virginia. Did not try to get in touch with rocknlobster. Feel like an idiot for this. Still, I had a really good time.

--My dad stepped on my glasses, and now they keep falling off my face. I'm getting them adjusted tomorrow.

In very recent news, I was checking out feudal_rpg. Now, it would be extremely foolish of me to get involved with another rpg, considering the posting problems I have in the one I'm already in. This is common sense. But... shimizu_hitomi plays Takasugi. angrybee is there. They have a Katsura. You know what they don't have? Geisha spies. I notice a distinct lack of geisha spies. Is that not a shame? Is that not a crime? Don't you think something should be done?

......<.< ....>.>

So, on fanficrants somebody made a post asking what people think stupid fans would do to their original stories. I don't have any original stories in the works, so I posted a rant for the D&D campaign I'm in.

( Cut for geek babble. Only tekararogue is required by law to read this. (And tell me if I spelled anything wrong.) )

<td align="center"> Veleda --
[noun]:

A hermit living in the big city

'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com</td>

...Oh my god, how does it know? That's exactly what I want to be. I'm amused.

Hm, trying to think of interesting stuff to tell you all.

Well, my psych grade is secure, I think. I completed the last of my AACs today. An AAC is... oh, fuck it. I hate explaining it. Just know that I've done them all.

My grade in English seems pretty safe too. I emailed the professor my essay, hopefully he'll get it.

Asian History... well, I am going to be turning the essay in late, so that will hurt me, but I got an A on the midterm and will probably get a similar grade on the final.

Japanese... I'm fairly sure I'm in big trouble if I don't do really well on the final. Note to self: email dykeboi13. He helps you pass, you help him finish his project thingie. It works.

Feeling a bit better about rping. We'll have to see how I feel once school is over and I start playing again. I finally went on official hiatus. And caused an group wide email to be sent out reminding people to tell the mods when they're going to be gone. Heh heh, I suck so much.

All in all, I'm feeling pretty good, even though I probably shouldn't.

Ok, ok, I can take a hint.

Matsu: Really? I had been under the impression that you were completely oblivious.

....Your personality sure has taken a turn for the worse.

Matsu: Has it? I wouldn't know. Of course, in technicality, I haven't existed for at least a week.

Fine! Jeez, even the people who live in my head are against me.

Matsu: Yes, yes, that's very nice. Now go post.

*grumble mutter grumble*

My mom and David (her husband) went out to eat, and I got to order Chinese food!

...Shut up, this excites me. I've never gotten something delivered before, not even pizza. We always pick it up at the restaurant/store/thing. It's too bad it wasn't very good Chinese food. Oh well.

Dude, does anyone know an lj community dedicated to working out the psychological issues of fictional characters? I thought of little_details, but I don't think that's what I'm looking for.

Sigh, this what I get for giving my rp characters issues that I don't really understand or know how to address.

Ok, sorry about that post. I don't any real crises have occurred, luckily. I shouldn't wallow in self-pity like that. Other people certainly don't want to listen to it.

This is such a theme. First I whine and angst, then I apologize for it, repeat ad nauseam. The obvious solution is to just stop whining, but I've never been able to do that. One of my biggest character flaws is that I never improve myself. I know I should stop complaining/get more organized/stop procrastinating/stop being so passive, but I never do. Bleh.

In somewhat lighter news, I've joined another RPG, junnishi_rpg. I'm not sure if this is a good idea or not, but I'm giving it a shot. And, hey, the worst that can happen is that I make myself miserable trying stay in even though I hate it, and let everybody down, and possibly making them angry at me until I finally quit and hate myself for it.

....Ok, maybe the worst that could happen is pretty bad, but I don't care! Ganbatte, Veleda, ganbatte!

.....I have mood swings from hell.

The truth is, I'm not even all that crazy about Fruits Basket. I do like several of the characters though, which is one of the most important things in an RPG. Characters I'm particularly fond of are:

1. Kyou- This is a rather good thing, seeing as I'm playing him. I just love this type of character. Kyou is like a less angsty Kurosaki Hisoka (Yami Matsuei), who is my second favorite anime character, I think.

2. Shigure- He's so suave. And evil. But a cool, subtle, enigmatic kind of evil. He's so hard to figure out.

3. Ayame- He's just so much fun. And I love how he and Shigure interact.

4. Ritsu- I so identify with Ritsu. There's the whole feeling way more comfortable in the clothes meant for the opposite physical sex, not to mention the self-loathing and frantic apologizing. "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! It's all my fault! I'm so sorry! I don't deserve to live! I can't believe I did that! I'm so sorry!" (Not an actual quote from the manga, but it gives you the general idea.)

So, yes, that's all for now. I'm so sorry for making you read this! ;)

I'm considering joining yet another online RPG. Do people think this is a bad idea? I know I shouldn't seriously consider it until I'm posting regularly in meiji_restored, but I'm tempted anyway. It's multifandom AU, and sounds pretty interesting.

So, am I an idiot, or is this a good idea?

Hm, life sucks, but I'm feeling pretty good. I'll just list the good things. This journal needs less angst.

1. himuragumi is going really well. I'm having fun again. It's hard to believe that a week ago I was thinking of quitting. So glad I didn't. Of course, now I'm all impatient for people to post. I usually tell myself to shut up, seeing as how I disappeared for about a month. Yeah, I have no room to complain. But I will anyway

2. School is actually going pretty well. English is boring, just like I thought it would be, but the others should be interesting.

3. Gintama is funny as hell. "I am Captain Katsura!!" In all seriousness, this manga has a lot to offer, as corny as that sounds. It has humor, Katsura action, and Katsura often just a good story. It's probably the funniest manga I've read, a lot of the fight scenes are quite cool despite being so incredibly silly, and some of the stories end up being honestly touching, despite being so silly. And Katsura is hot.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, OBSESSION? I AM NOT OBSESSED! THERE IS NO OBSESSION!

....Ahem, anyway

4.I'm just feeling inexplicably peaceful. I'm trying to enjoy it while it lasts. I'm sure I'll have another anxiety attack soon enough.